I heard them. I sought them on the internet and sat through them.
They didn’t work. I just felt bad. Am I just a bad person, beyond redemption because I cross the line and don’t seem to have the willpower to overcome?
I was beginning to think my life would have to be planned around this. I could spend a week or two, maybe the odd month without lapsing, walking close to God, just accepting I was going to get back into the porn every so often. Maybe I am just so evil, my conscience so dulled that I am beyond help. I despaired.